Avoid gush and mush! The following example should get the point across:
I have wanted to be a veterinarian since I was 10 years old when our family dog, Petey, lay dying after being run over by a car. I knew then that I wanted to be in a position to do something to help sick and injured animals rather than to stand by helplessly. For this reason I chose to study veterinary medicine.
Comment: Avoid this kind of statement altogether. While the story might be true, it detracts from the professional image you’re trying to portray. An emotional appeal to the reader is not convincing evidence of a well-reasoned decision to enter a particular profession.
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Friday, June 6, 2008
Oversentimentality by Mary Catherine Savage FROM Johns Hopkins University
Labels:
7. Applying to Schools
Native Speaker of American English
Conversation practice. Chatting or in-depth discussion of news articles.
TOEFL-IELTS practice / CV, SOP, journal paper, essay revision
英語家教
彈性排課, 免通勤, 托福, 職場英文, 履歷/論文修改…等。
請看我的學生推薦信。
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