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Bernard M -- Taipei English Tutor

Bernard M - English Conversation / TOEFL / IELTS 一對一英文會話

Friday, June 6, 2008

Oversentimentality by Mary Catherine Savage FROM Johns Hopkins University

Avoid gush and mush! The following example should get the point across:

I have wanted to be a veterinarian since I was 10 years old when our family dog, Petey, lay dying after being run over by a car. I knew then that I wanted to be in a position to do something to help sick and injured animals rather than to stand by helplessly. For this reason I chose to study veterinary medicine.

Comment: Avoid this kind of statement altogether. While the story might be true, it detracts from the professional image you’re trying to portray. An emotional appeal to the reader is not convincing evidence of a well-reasoned decision to enter a particular profession.

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