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Bernard M -- Taipei English Tutor

Bernard M - English Conversation / TOEFL / IELTS 一對一英文會話

Friday, November 6, 2009

My new business venture

Realizing that nowadays many Taiwanese parents are too weak-willed or busy to physically punish their children, I hit upon this new business venture. For a fee, I'm willing to beat the little darlings for parents. My fee schedule is as follows:
  • $100 NT per blow to buttocks with any object of your choosing (minimum 5 blows)
  • $200 NT per slap to the face (minimum of 3 slaps)
  • $300 NT per bare knuckle punches anywhere below neck (sorry no direct punches to the face)
  • If the child cries during the punishment I will also kick them at no extra charge
Parents are encouraged to remain stoic throughout the punishment. On the one hand, children may lose respect for parents who cry, and on the other hand parents may face strained relations with their children if they are seen to be laughing out loud while their little ones are getting beat.

Legal Issues
I have been warned by my lawyer that allowing only adults to hire me may lay me open to the charge of age discrimination. Therefore, any child between the ages of 10 and 16 may also hire me to "punish" their parents. The age restriction is due to the fact that children under 10 may not understand the import of hiring me, and I feel that anyone over 16 is old enough to administer their own beatings.

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